We'll never be normal
by binarose
Summary: AU: Parental Philinda Phil and May are S.H.I.E.L.D agents, trying to balance domestic life and world saving. They had worked together for many years before their marriages both came apart in different ways, and helped to heal each other, and eventually fell in love and got married. (ft. Grant, Tripp, Lance, Skye, Leo and Jemma as their kids)
1. Chapter 1

A/N Hello :)

Grant and Lance are Phil's kids from a previous marriage. Antoine (known as Tripp..for his clumsiness) is Melinda's step son. Jemma, Leo and Skye were adopted by Phil and May together in the third year of their marriage; two sisters and their best friend who managed to stay together in the system.

May's ex is psychologist Andrew, who died suddenly in his sleep. Tripp had been living with them for a year prior to Andrew dying, after his mother had been killed in a car wreck. When Andrew died, Tripp's maternal and paternal grandparents were too aged to take in the boy, and neither Andrew nor his ex wife had siblings, so he stayed with Melinda, something she didn't mind.

Phil was married to Audrey, the cellist, but she left him for another symphony member, and due to her travelling schedule, their boys stayed with Phil.

Tripp and Grant are 17 years old

Skye is 16 years old

Lance and Leo are 14 years old

And little Jemma is 11 years old

At the beginning of this fic.

_Knock knock knock_

A giggle from behind the door. A lot of shushing.

Phil groaned. May pulled the duvet over her head. Phil pulled it back and covered them both.

"Answer the door Dad, or we'll come in whether you're decent or not!" shouted one voice,

"Preferably decent though!" shouted another,

More giggles.

More shushing.

A turn of the doorknob.

Phil smiled. He had remembered to lock the door.

Giving himself a mental high five for remembering something, he swung his legs out into the cold air of the bedroom, put his dressing gown on over his pyjamas and moved over to the door.

"If I unlock this door, what can I expect?" he asked his children through the pine, "Trick or treat?"

"Would we trick you and the lovely Melinda on your anniversary, Dad?" he heard his eldest, Grant, say

"Yes, yes you would Grant."Phil replied

"Dad, I am disappointed in the lack of trust we have in this family." Lance's voice crept through the door

"Always the comedian. Next answer please, someone I'm likely to believe." He heard someone being forcefully pushed in the direction of the door,

"Morning Dad."

"Ah Jemma. Good morning. So, what is waiting for me?"

"Toast that is going cold, coffee for you, also going cold, and Mom's tea, steeped to perfection. Tripp's signature waffles with nutella and maple syrup. And Leo and Lance have champagne poppers...sorry guys!"

Phil imagined the look his youngest was getting from her brothers right now. He let out a breathy chortle.

"Okay, okay, fun all spoilt, let us in Dad!" came Skye's voice

"Alright, settle down." He walked over to his wife's side of the bed and bent down so his face was even with her as she continued to lie down. "I know you're awake."

"Uh uh. Nope. Sleeping still." She let out a fake snore.

"Very cute." He pulled the covers off of her neck and prodded her shoulders until she sat up. "There we go, much better." She scowled at him. He bent and kissed the frown lines on her forehead.

"I'll let the mob in now then shall I?"

Cheers and whoops came from behind the door.

Melinda rearranged the pillows along the head board as Phil unlocked the door to reveal six children of varying ages, balancing various trays. They all looked at him in anticipation, as if waiting for an order to go to the bed and have their breakfast with their parents.

"I was told there were poppers?" Phil questioned his younger sons, who scrambled in their pyjama pockets, and pulled out champagne poppers, and set them off over their siblings, and the breakfast.

"Hey hey, watch the maple syrup!" Antoine complained

"Hey hey, ignore the maple syrup," Grant stopped an argument before it began, "Like we practiced...1...2...3..."

The six faces in the doorway turned away from the younger boys and the silly string that had stuck to everything and everyone, and to Phil and Melinda, and shouted in chorus,

"Happy 4th Anniversary!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Morning Mr C!" comes a voice from the sidewalk as Phil walks out the front door of the house

"Good morning Barbara, how many times do I have to tell you that it's Phil?"

The girl laughs, "As many times as I've asked you to call me Bobbi sir. Did you and Mrs C have a nice anniversary?"

"We did, thank you. You know, you were quite welcome to have joined us, Lance, Grant and I have known you far too long now to not consider you practically family."

"It's okay Mr C, it was your day. Is Lance awake in there?"

Just then, the front doors of the house burst open and the children burst out of them. Lance, Leo and Tripp were deep in conversation, when Lance's head shot up,

"Morning Bobbi!" He broke away from his brothers, who stopped dead on the steps, and ran over to his friend, "See you later Dad!" he waved back at the group in front of the house and started to walk with Bobbi to the bus stop.

Leo looked up at Tripp, "You keep saying I'll understand that when I'm older right?"

Tripp gave a small chuckle, "I'm older, and I don't understand that."

Phil shared a laugh with two of his boys, "Who's walking Jemma to her bus this morning?"

"Skye and Grant drew that short straw in exchange for extra pancakes." Tripp stated, "Right curly, let's go, or we'll be late."

Tripp and Leo set off down the steps, and onto the sidewalk, also heading for the bus.

Skye and Grant came out the door next, looking almost desperately back into the house.

"One day, she won't lose a shoe just before she leaves the house..."

"I thought it was a hair bow today?"

"Either way, we're going to be late as well...morning Dad." Grant grumbled, finally looking away from the house and Skye

"Morning guys, drew the short straw?"

"Yup. Seriously, you or Mom has to start walking her if she's going to be this slow every morning." Skye complained, "Like I know she's my actual sister, and I love her, but she sucks."

"Uh-huh. Tell you what, I won't tell the others and I'll walk Jemma to her stop, if you promise to pick her up later, and do the dishes after dinner, no moaning."

The teens looked at each other, then back at Phil,

"Deal." they said in unison, and then sprinted off onto the sidewalk, starting their usual race to the bus stop.

Phil just knew he was going to have problems with those two when they stopped bottling their emotions up, but that was not a problem for today.

"JEMMA."

He heard a crash, a cat cry out and what sounded like someone running into a wall, before his youngest appeared in the doorway,

"Morning Dad." She looked a little sheepish, "Where's Skye? And Grant?"

"You nearly made them late again little lady, so I sent them off to their bus, and I'll just drive you to school today, how does that sound?"

Jemma's face broke into a glorious smile, "That sounds lovely."

"Okay, go get in, let me just tell your Mom where I'm going."

Jemma sprinted off to the car, while Phil crossed back into the house,

"Melinda?" he called

Her head appeared out of the kitchen doorway, flour smeared across her forehead. After all their years working together in the field, and their four years of marriage, he still found it amusing to see her playing the part of domestic goddess. He gave a small laugh,

"I'm driving Jemma to school, she nearly made Skye and Grant late again, I'll be back in a bit."

"Okay, see you in a bit then. Can you bring back eggs and milk?"

"Sure thing." He flashed her a smile, which she returned, and headed back out the door and to his car.

** ...**

At 4.15, Phil lay down his tools, and lowered the hood on Lola (a semi-retirement gift from Fury, or leverage to make sure Phil kept coming back when he was asked) and went out to his front yard in time to see his troops filing back in.

Lance walked slowly up the sidewalk with Leo, clearly not interested in the conversation they were having, and shooting deadly looks at the backs of the heads of the people walking in front of him, Bobbi, and a new kid to the neighbourhood, Alphonso. Phil knew that his son harboured a crush for their long time neighbour, and was clearly jealous of the new boy. Leo was oblivious to all of this going on, and carried on rambling away as they entered the yard and went up the steps.

Leo went through the door, but Lance turned just in time to see Bobbi turn and wave to him, a huge smile on her face,

"Don't be late tomorrow dumbo!" she shouted at him from the sidewalk

"No promises!" Lance shouted back before his face too broke into a smile, and he went inside.

Tripp and Skye were also talking furiously as they strode up the sidewalk. As they entered the yard, Phil looked back down the sidewalk,

"Skye...?"

"Grant went to get Jemma alone, he had a bad day, got chewed out by coach again, I think, he wanted to walk it off by himself," Skye shrugged, "I wasn't going to argue with him."

Phil furrowed his brow, and waved off the pair, who sprinted up the steps and into the house.

He then heard very fast talking coming from down the street, the type of fast talking that only an 11 year old is able to do. He looked back down the sidewalk, and sure enough there was Jemma, talking at a ridiculous speed, and Grant walking at a slow pace for his long legs next to her, nodding along.

Jemma spotted him waiting for them,

"Hi dad! I had a great day! We did..."

Phil cut her off, "Jemma, sweetie, can you tell me over dinner? I want to have a word with your brother."

The young girl briefly pouted, "Okay then, promise." She folded her arms over her chest, and looked scarily like Melinda,

"I promise we will talk over dinner. I will sit next to you just to make sure," He had bent down so he was at eye level with her, "Now I think your mom needs help with dinner, you better go help, otherwise we won't be able to talk until really late."

Jemma's eyes got very wide and she practically leapt into the house.

Phil stood back up and caught his eldest son's eye.

"What did Skye say?" Grant questioned,

"Not much, just that it sounded like Coach Garrett had chewed you out again."

"It doesn't matter, it's nothing." Grant made to push past his father and head for the door. Phil stopped him with a hand on his chest,

"Grant, you don't have to tell me what he did, or what he said, but you need to get this off your chest," He lowered his hand, "If you won't talk to me, talk to Tripp, Skye, your brother. Hell, call your mother if you need to, but don't keep it all inside okay?" He made Grant look at him again, "Come on kid, don't make me beg."

Grant sighed, "He just keeps going on about how I'm clearly not committed to the team enough, and how I'm falling behind. I don't know if he's just trying to push me to make me better, or if he really thinks I'm not trying my hardest."

Phil sighed, "I can't give you the answer to that kid, but don't let it get to you. Talk to the others about it next time, and smile you big grump," He play-punched Grant on the shoulder, who smiled at his dad, and punched him back lightly.

"Come on, inside."

The pair continued shoving each other until they went through the door,

"Grant! Your mom called, Lance has her right now, she's in Vienna I think?" Melinda caught Phil and Grant as they came through the door, "Dinner in an hour" she flashed a smile and spun back towards the kitchen

Phil turned to Grant,

"I'll talk to her about it, Dad, but she's not very good at this sort of thing, you know that." Grant smiled at his Dad, and went off to find Lance.

Skye was sat on the stairs; Phil walked over and sat slightly lower than her,

"How was your day?" he asked her

"Meh is probably the best word to describe it."

"Any more problems with Miles?" Phil knew that her ex boyfriend who hadn't really been a boyfriend in the first place had been causing some trouble, like following her to classes he wasn't in, and trying to get on her bus, even though he lived in the opposite direction. All this, and Skye had only lived with the Coulson-May family for 9 months. Phil had nearly called in a long owed S.H.I.E.L.D favour to have the guy tailed when she had come home upset the first time.

"No, no more problems. In fact, he goes out of his way now to avoid me." Phil suspected Grant and Tripp's influence there; they had both grown protective over their adopted siblings. He smiled.

"What are you smiling at?" Skye had slid down two steps and sat next to him

"Absolutely nothing, can't I just smile because my daughter is happy?" He leaned over and kissed her forehead, before standing up and heading off into the lounge. Skye watched him leave, and jumped up herself, and headed out into the back yard to find Jemma.

**...**

"Yes mom, we're growing big and strong...of course we're eating enough..." Phil could practically hear Lance rolling his eyes, "Grades are fine...you really think I wouldn't be doing my homework...I guess that's fair...Bobbi?" From his spot behind Lance, he watched the boy's ears go very red. He imagined his face was the same shade, "She's fine...I'm sure she would say hi if she were here...yes, yes and no...okay, I'll go get him...I think he's outside?" Lance turned around and spotted his dad, "You want to speak to dad while I look for Grant?...Okay, speak soon mom," Lance gestured wildly to Phil, who took the phone while Lance took off out into the back yard,

"Hello Audrey, what time is it there?"

"Hi Phil, I've lost track of the time, we only got off stage maybe an hour ago? I just made a wild guess and hoped I was calling at the right time."

"Just about. They were walking in the door when you rang."

"So I gathered. How is everyone? Everything?"

"Everyone is fine, we went out for a picnic yesterday and everything is under control. No bad grades, no detentions, no expulsions, no alien invasions, all is normal."

Audrey gave a small laugh down the phone,

"I'm glad to hear it. Grant appeared yet?"

Grant appeared in the back door at that moment,

"Yes, he's here now. Have a good night Audrey, bye."

"Bye Phil, speak soon" Phil handed the phone over to Grant, who lay down on the sofa with it,

"Hi Mom...yes, we're eating enough..." Grant rolled his eyes as Phil exited out into the garden, where he found all his other children, and the two family dogs.

Tripp was attempting to teach Leo how to shoot hoops; the younger boy was too scientifically minded and kept looking for the right angle, no matter how much Antoine told him to just 'feel the vibe' and shoot. They were taking it in turns; Phil worried greatly for his upstairs windows whenever Leo stepped up for a shot.

Jemma and Lance were racing after each other, and each time one of them caught the other, they would tackle each other to the ground. Phil was sure they would feel it tomorrow when the bruises caught up with them, but he wasn't about to stop them.

Skye lay in the middle of the grass, with a dog on either side, protecting her from Jemma and Lance, and flying basketballs.

Phil let out a contented sigh.

Melinda appeared in the door behind him, a serious expression on her face.

"Phil." using a tone of voice she had developed in their active S.H.I.E.L.D days, "Fury." Phil let out a disgruntled sigh this time and followed his wife back inside to the kitchen where a tablet was set up on a book stand. Melinda, he guessed, had been following a recipe from it, and Nick had interrupted her.

His face now stared at Phil and Melinda as the approached.

"Coulson." The customary greeting from Fury.

"Nick. How's things?"

"Not good, I need extra hands, extra legs, hell even extra heads without sounding like I'm a damned Hydra agent."

"What seems to be the problem?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Grant had been a surprise to Audrey and Phil. They hadn't been actively trying for children, what with their schedules, but they couldn't have been happier. They both took large leaves of absence from their jobs and spent a year at home with baby Grant after he was born.

Melinda had been named god mother. She was the obvious choice.

18 months later when it felt like life was just getting back to normal, and Grant was finally settled with a nanny, they found out they were expecting Lance.

3 weeks after Lance was born, Grant acted as ring bearer for his god mother alongside Melinda's new step son, Antoine. Phil and Audrey sat proudly on the front row, with the thankfully snoozing Lance.

...

Grant and Antoine grew up sharing a nanny after Melinda and Andrew married, and when Audrey returned to work, Lance joined them. The three young boys were thick and thieves.

...

When Grant and Tripp were 11, and Lance was 8, they stood in black around a grave of a man too young to have died in his sleep. Melinda cried. Phil comforted her. Audrey was half way around the world giving a concert with tears in her eyes.

A week later, Melinda was granted guardianship of Antoine, and they grieved together.

...

When they were 12 and 9 respectively, Grant and Lance were stood in front of their parents, making the worst decision of their lives. Who did they want to live with?

...

At 13, Grant and Antoine acted as Phil's best men. Lance got his turn to be a ring bearer at 10. Fury, Maria and a few other close friends, were the only witnesses to the marriage of Phil Coulson and Melinda May (previously Garner).

...

At 16 and 13, the three boys had given up hope of more siblings, until Phil and Melinda came home with two girls, one loud and brash, the other quiet and shy, and a little boy, with unruly curly hair and a soft voice.

...

At 17 and 14, the trio couldn't remember what life was like before their additional siblings. To everyone's delight, the six children had bonded well and become the best of friends.

As with any children, there were fights, it was inevitable, but they always moved past it quickly and acted like nothing had happened.

...

"Okay mom, see you when you get home...26th, got it...okay yes mom, I'll pass on love...uh-huh, love you too mom, bye!"

Grant hung up the phone and placed it on the coffee table. He let out a long sigh and closed his eyes.

He loved her, of course he did, she was his mom, but she was also the one who had left. Okay, yeah sure, she had presented the option of him and Lance travelling the world with her, but that would have made him fall behind on school for sure, and he'd have been away from dad and Antoine, and Melinda. He never would have met Jemma or Leo or Skye had he left.

He hadn't even entertained the idea of leaving. He was glad Lance hadn't either.

They had stayed with their dad, in the same house for another year, getting used to everything being different, before moving in with Melinda and Antoine in a house less than 5 blocks from the old house.

A house that had room to expand the family.

A house that kept them close to Bobbi (Lance had been overjoyed). A house that kept them close to Andrew's grave. A house that kept them on the same bus to school; a house that kept them at the same school.

With how much their mom had been away as they grew up, and how much Melinda had been round because of work, or Antoine had been around for anything, it was like nothing had really changed.

Of course, everything had changed.

Grant let out another sigh.

"That's a lot of sighing and thinking you're doing there, tough guy."

Grant opened his eyes and looked up at who had spoken.

Skye stood in the door that led from the lounge to the garden, looking straight at Grant.

He smiled, "You been stood there long?"

"Enough time to see you sigh two times too many. What's up?" She moved over to the couch and lifted his legs out of the way as she sat. He pulled his legs around in front of himself, and sat up.

He threw his head back in exasperation, "I just feel like I get the same interrogation each time she calls. Am I happy? Is dad feeding me? Has he been away too much? Then she always shifts the conversation to wherever she is, and it starts with," He cleared his throat and started to speak in a higher pitch, "Oh Grant, you would have loved it here, the history, the art, the culture, blah blah blah, if only you had come on the road with me, blah blah blah." He coughed and went back to his normal voice, "The same questions, the same accusations for 5 years. Still pissed that me and Lance chose to stay here. That every time she offers, we say no again. It's not because she was the bad guy in the break up, which is what I think she thinks it is. She could never be tied down, but me and Lance..." He stopped and sighed again, "Despite his job, Dad is really grounded. He likes having a home base. Something me and Lance picked up. We could never just up and leave, not when there is so much that we care about here."

He turned and looked at Skye who was already looking at him.

"Feel better getting that off your chest?" she asked,

He took a deep breath, "Yeah, thanks. For listening, y'know. It can be hard to get heard over all the voices in this house."

She smiled brightly at him and stood up, "You don't have to tell me about shouting over the masses. I know the feeling. Come on, let's go set the table." She extended a hand out to him.

...

"I'll start communications tomorrow then with New York and New Mexico."

"Thanks Melinda. Phil, you clear on your objectives?"

"Right now sir, my only objective is getting six kids to the table," The Director gave him a stern look, "Affirmative sir, I'll organise the LA task force unit tomorrow, and call in a favour from the Austin team to monitor the movements in the South. You sure you only need us for liaison and communication?"

"Coulsons, I wouldn't dream of asking you to do any more than that right now. Not while I can help it. You and your family have a nice night now. Director Fury, out."

The tablet screen went black, and then the recipe Melinda had been using popped back up.

"Communications and home contact. When did we become the boring ones?"Melinda asked Phil, a hint of resentment in her voice,

"When we got married and had kids. And got married again and brought more kids in. But we are far from boring," He pulled her close and leaned in for a kiss.

Lance chose the exact moment that their lips made contact to walk into the kitchen.

"OHMIGOD CANNOT UNSEE"

...

A/N Help please. I need some ideas on what problem Fury is having. Please PM me if you have any ideas. Or message me on tumblr, I'm bina-rose on there.

Thank you for the follows, favourites and reviews, keep them coming guys. Heart you 3


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